Review: An Aspie Life

[Maniakkid25]

This is going to be a little different to how I do reviews. For one thing, I won’t be scoring this. For another, I’m going to start out with how I feel about this game: I hate it. And I want you to keep reading, because it’s important for you to understand why it is I feel this way.

For those that are unaware, “Aspie” is a diminutive form of “Asperger’s”. This refers to Asperger’s Syndrome, a form of Autism Spectrum Disorder, specifically a form of High-Functioning Autism Spectrum Disorder. It’s a term usually used in good faith, so don’t worry about sprinkling it in your vocabulary. (Edit: due to recent developments, this characterization of the term is no longer accurate post-2020. The community is currently trying to distance themselves from Asperger and all things relating to him due to him being...well, a Nazi.) Indeed, the game is ostensibly developed by a person with said disorder, and wanted to share his experience with the world in the best way he knew how: video games.

In the game, you play as an Aspie whose roommate one day disappears, and you basically have to fend for yourself. You do this by completing various tasks that are listed in your journal (a coping mechanism often found in this disorder to make sure they remember to do necessary tasks outside of their interests), along with various tips for interacting with people. You think this wouldn’t be necessary, but you have to type in your responses to people rather than just pick a multiple choice boilerplate response. Obviously, the game looks for keywords, and the game reacts accordingly. But it makes you need those tips, because you are constantly walking on eggshells when talking with people. Indeed, when I tried to interact with a bank teller, despite attempting to follow the guide exactly, my character’s own actions betrayed me, as he looks away while waiting for you to type your response, and she kicked me out due to me looking suspicious. As well, a simple act as walking outside is made difficult as you have to constantly press alternate keys to keep your senses in control, as the loud noises and sensory overload harms your character. This makes something as simple as walking down the street far more difficult than it sounds, as you just try to make sure your character doesn’t break down in the middle of the road, and that’s assuming you don’t get stopped by anyone.

One of the art decisions that was deliberately made is that strangers are cloaked in darkness. This represents how your character feels about the person and, more importantly, makes it impossible to read their reactions. Given the known problems Autistic people have with social intricacies, this is obviously done on purpose. People you get to know better do become more visible as time goes on, making it easier to understand how it is your statements affect them. But for everyone else, it’s like reading a computer; you have only the words to go on, which is yet another reason to need the tips in the journal to talk to people.

There’s more to the game, like how your character uses video games in order to “de-stress” and recover, but I will be honest, I haven’t gotten very far in it. And that’s because I hated playing this game. Every word I typed, every movement I made, every single thing I had to do, I hated.

Because I’m playing me.

This game is an important reminder to me: my situation is not unique. As someone with Asperger’s Syndrome, this felt like just a day in the life, trying to make sure I keep everything in check. I speak to people I don’t know softly, purposely making sure to use specific, hard-learned greetings and stock phrases because I’m afraid of how the other person will react. I was playing myself in this game, and I hate that.

Someone with Asperger’s or High-Functioning Autism is almost, in some ways, worse off than someone with Low-Functioning Autism. Because while a Low-Functioning person will never be able to live their own life, we suffer silently. When I tell people I’m Autistic, they always say the same thing: “You don’t come off that way.” We can fake being “normal”. We HAVE to fake being “normal”. We’re always afraid of the other end of the conversation, worried that the wrong movement or wrong word will set someone off. If we don’t know you, we are afraid of you. So while I hate this game, if you have any reason to want to understand what it can be like for someone like me, I implore you to play this game.

But most importantly, I want you to understand the same thing that this reminds me of: no matter what it is you are going through, you are not isolated. You are not the only one who is going through what you are. We are ALL struggling, so tell someone. Whether it’s a friend you trust or a therapist you know won’t talk, tell them everything. We are all struggling, so we need to struggle together. Thank you for reading this.

[ShiraNoMai]

I appreciate you taking the time to talk about this game, and I'm very glad this game exists. I understand why you hate this game as well: It wasn't made for you. It was made by someone, like you, for able-bodied people, like me, to understand how someone like you has to go through life in a sort of simulation-style game. And I appreciate the hell out of that.

Definitely gonna look into watching some gameplay and perhaps supporting the game developer with a purchase to keep them going. Thanks for the kind words, and keep being the best you you can be =3 <3

[Maniakkid25]

The game's actually free to play, and I don't know how to donate to the dev or anything like that. As far as I know, he would be about 19 or 20 right now, so *shrug*