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(May 20th, 2021, 08:02 PM)Moonface Wrote:
Neat that it was a brand new store. At least it means you didn't get landed with another store's problems to fix.

I've been up and down really over the past few months. Basically had to end up in therapy for chronic depression and anxiety and that's still ongoing, but it has at least improved to the point where I'm not in tears most days or having to call out of work. Sweat

yeah I picked out. it's in the mall that I've worked at for years in other stores so they said i was a perfect fit. 

Oh no! any idea what's a big catalyst for any of your episodes?
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(May 20th, 2021, 08:02 PM)Moonface Wrote:
Neat that it was a brand new store. At least it means you didn't get landed with another store's problems to fix.

I've been up and down really over the past few months. Basically had to end up in therapy for chronic depression and anxiety and that's still ongoing, but it has at least improved to the point where I'm not in tears most days or having to call out of work. Sweat

yeah I picked out. it's in the mall that I've worked at for years in other stores so they said i was a perfect fit. 

Oh no! any idea what's a big catalyst for any of your episodes?
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(May 21st, 2021, 06:36 AM)Monocle Wrote:
(May 20th, 2021, 08:02 PM)Moonface Wrote:
Neat that it was a brand new store. At least it means you didn't get landed with another store's problems to fix.

I've been up and down really over the past few months. Basically had to end up in therapy for chronic depression and anxiety and that's still ongoing, but it has at least improved to the point where I'm not in tears most days or having to call out of work. Sweat

yeah I picked out. it's in the mall that I've worked at for years in other stores so they said i was a perfect fit. 

Oh no! any idea what's a big catalyst for any of your episodes?
Ooh, what mall is it? I've never seen a 7-Eleven in a mall before. Normally I just see them on street corners.

Likely a collection of things coming together at the start of the pandemic. I haven't gone back to England since I came to the States in 2017, and 2020 was supposed to be the year I was going to do that. Had tickets booked and everything. Then Covid happened, and of course all my plans had to be cancelled due to travel restrictions plus the risk of getting myself or my family sick. I also had to put school on hold because I don't like online classes, and then in December I hurt my shoulder which basically meant I couldn't do much at all and was at work less, so I would end up getting lonely by being at home a lot more and not being able to go out anywhere or see friends because everyone was trying to keep as isolated as they could. On the bright side, the therapy I'm getting determined I have lingering trauma from school and so they'll be helping me get over that, which I wouldn't have been aware of tackling if I hadn't become depressed and seen a psychiatrist for medication and help. So although it would be nice to have not got the depression/anxiety, getting it did help me on something else so at least it isn't all bad. Tongue

Going to Alabama in a week from today, and I've never been there or even know much about the place, so that should be interesting to experience. XD
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(May 21st, 2021, 06:36 AM)Monocle Wrote:
(May 20th, 2021, 08:02 PM)Moonface Wrote:
Neat that it was a brand new store. At least it means you didn't get landed with another store's problems to fix.

I've been up and down really over the past few months. Basically had to end up in therapy for chronic depression and anxiety and that's still ongoing, but it has at least improved to the point where I'm not in tears most days or having to call out of work. Sweat

yeah I picked out. it's in the mall that I've worked at for years in other stores so they said i was a perfect fit. 

Oh no! any idea what's a big catalyst for any of your episodes?
Ooh, what mall is it? I've never seen a 7-Eleven in a mall before. Normally I just see them on street corners.

Likely a collection of things coming together at the start of the pandemic. I haven't gone back to England since I came to the States in 2017, and 2020 was supposed to be the year I was going to do that. Had tickets booked and everything. Then Covid happened, and of course all my plans had to be cancelled due to travel restrictions plus the risk of getting myself or my family sick. I also had to put school on hold because I don't like online classes, and then in December I hurt my shoulder which basically meant I couldn't do much at all and was at work less, so I would end up getting lonely by being at home a lot more and not being able to go out anywhere or see friends because everyone was trying to keep as isolated as they could. On the bright side, the therapy I'm getting determined I have lingering trauma from school and so they'll be helping me get over that, which I wouldn't have been aware of tackling if I hadn't become depressed and seen a psychiatrist for medication and help. So although it would be nice to have not got the depression/anxiety, getting it did help me on something else so at least it isn't all bad. Tongue

Going to Alabama in a week from today, and I've never been there or even know much about the place, so that should be interesting to experience. XD
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(May 21st, 2021, 11:10 PM)Moonface Wrote:
Ooh, what mall is it? I've never seen a 7-Eleven in a mall before. Normally I just see them on street corners.

Likely a collection of things coming together at the start of the pandemic. I haven't gone back to England since I came to the States in 2017, and 2020 was supposed to be the year I was going to do that. Had tickets booked and everything. Then Covid happened, and of course all my plans had to be cancelled due to travel restrictions plus the risk of getting myself or my family sick. I also had to put school on hold because I don't like online classes, and then in December I hurt my shoulder which basically meant I couldn't do much at all and was at work less, so I would end up getting lonely by being at home a lot more and not being able to go out anywhere or see friends because everyone was trying to keep as isolated as they could. On the bright side, the therapy I'm getting determined I have lingering trauma from school and so they'll be helping me get over that, which I wouldn't have been aware of tackling if I hadn't become depressed and seen a psychiatrist for medication and help. So although it would be nice to have not got the depression/anxiety, getting it did help me on something else so at least it isn't all bad. Tongue

Going to Alabama in a week from today, and I've never been there or even know much about the place, so that should be interesting to experience. XD

we've only done 9 or 10 of them I think. mine is in the palisades center mall. Google has some shitty pictures of the store. I'll get better ones tomorrow.

well shit. always gotta look at the bright side. otherwise, life is just a roadway to death. no one can survive life thinking that way
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(May 21st, 2021, 11:10 PM)Moonface Wrote:
Ooh, what mall is it? I've never seen a 7-Eleven in a mall before. Normally I just see them on street corners.

Likely a collection of things coming together at the start of the pandemic. I haven't gone back to England since I came to the States in 2017, and 2020 was supposed to be the year I was going to do that. Had tickets booked and everything. Then Covid happened, and of course all my plans had to be cancelled due to travel restrictions plus the risk of getting myself or my family sick. I also had to put school on hold because I don't like online classes, and then in December I hurt my shoulder which basically meant I couldn't do much at all and was at work less, so I would end up getting lonely by being at home a lot more and not being able to go out anywhere or see friends because everyone was trying to keep as isolated as they could. On the bright side, the therapy I'm getting determined I have lingering trauma from school and so they'll be helping me get over that, which I wouldn't have been aware of tackling if I hadn't become depressed and seen a psychiatrist for medication and help. So although it would be nice to have not got the depression/anxiety, getting it did help me on something else so at least it isn't all bad. Tongue

Going to Alabama in a week from today, and I've never been there or even know much about the place, so that should be interesting to experience. XD

we've only done 9 or 10 of them I think. mine is in the palisades center mall. Google has some shitty pictures of the store. I'll get better ones tomorrow.

well shit. always gotta look at the bright side. otherwise, life is just a roadway to death. no one can survive life thinking that way
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Yeah, my therapist has been reinforcing into me to try and be positive even with bad things, since I had gotten into a state where I viewed everything in a negative light.

Watching Eurovision right now and I find it hilarious that the UK has zero points so far and most of the jury have voted now. I will say that the majority of entries I got to see were actually pretty decent and not just X Factor style entries like a lot of them were in one of the years I watched it.
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Yeah, my therapist has been reinforcing into me to try and be positive even with bad things, since I had gotten into a state where I viewed everything in a negative light.

Watching Eurovision right now and I find it hilarious that the UK has zero points so far and most of the jury have voted now. I will say that the majority of entries I got to see were actually pretty decent and not just X Factor style entries like a lot of them were in one of the years I watched it.
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my pure optimism is disgusting. I just think the best of everything and everyone unless they're absolutely stupid and retail has presented me with a lot of those.
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my pure optimism is disgusting. I just think the best of everything and everyone unless they're absolutely stupid and retail has presented me with a lot of those.
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(May 22nd, 2021, 06:38 AM)Monocle Wrote:
well shit. always gotta look at the bright side. otherwise, life is just a roadway to death. no one can survive life thinking that way

I seem to be doing just fine going through life thinking that way, thank you very much.
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(May 22nd, 2021, 06:38 AM)Monocle Wrote:
well shit. always gotta look at the bright side. otherwise, life is just a roadway to death. no one can survive life thinking that way

I seem to be doing just fine going through life thinking that way, thank you very much.
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God, meal planning is hard when you gotta stick to your macros. My 30-30-40 ratio has been hard to prioritize cuz I'm not getting enough protein in most cases.

Macros are short for macronutrients, btw, which are your Carbohydrates, Fats and Proteins (respectively) needed to get your necessary nutrients for a day while targeting whatever goal you need (muscle gain, fat loss, weight loss, etc). My ratio of nutrients is tailored to fat loss, but like I said, I just can't seem to find enough protein to put in. I wind up getting too carb-heavy in most cases cuz like, everything has carbs, man. Even fucking broccoli. Errm

Woes aside, while a bit tedious, the challenge of it all is kinda fun. I hate the idea of diets where you gotta like, eat like a rabbit for weeks. I just wanna eat cleaner and feel better.
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God, meal planning is hard when you gotta stick to your macros. My 30-30-40 ratio has been hard to prioritize cuz I'm not getting enough protein in most cases.

Macros are short for macronutrients, btw, which are your Carbohydrates, Fats and Proteins (respectively) needed to get your necessary nutrients for a day while targeting whatever goal you need (muscle gain, fat loss, weight loss, etc). My ratio of nutrients is tailored to fat loss, but like I said, I just can't seem to find enough protein to put in. I wind up getting too carb-heavy in most cases cuz like, everything has carbs, man. Even fucking broccoli. Errm

Woes aside, while a bit tedious, the challenge of it all is kinda fun. I hate the idea of diets where you gotta like, eat like a rabbit for weeks. I just wanna eat cleaner and feel better.
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(May 23rd, 2021, 04:38 AM)Monocle Wrote:
my pure optimism is disgusting. I just think the best of everything and everyone unless they're absolutely stupid and retail has presented me with a lot of those.
I used to be like that back in secondary school, but it quickly got kicked out of me by the time I left there and university because of how many awful people I dealt with that took advantage of me.

(May 23rd, 2021, 09:12 PM)ShiraNoMai Wrote:
God, meal planning is hard when you gotta stick to your macros. My 30-30-40 ratio has been hard to prioritize cuz I'm not getting enough protein in most cases.

Macros are short for macronutrients, btw, which are your Carbohydrates, Fats and Proteins (respectively) needed to get your necessary nutrients for a day while targeting whatever goal you need (muscle gain, fat loss, weight loss, etc). My ratio of nutrients is tailored to fat loss, but like I said, I just can't seem to find enough protein to put in. I wind up getting too carb-heavy in most cases cuz like, everything has carbs, man. Even fucking broccoli. Errm

Woes aside, while a bit tedious, the challenge of it all is kinda fun. I hate the idea of diets where you gotta like, eat like a rabbit for weeks. I just wanna eat cleaner and feel better.
I hate dealing with preparing dinner without needing to worry about all that stuff. I think if that got added to my plate I'd need a life planner or anger management just to not be in a constant state of pissed off.

Speaking of being pissed off, that's been me most of this weekend. I feel like time has just flown by me and that I barely achieved a damn thing today or yesterday that wasn't some form of chore or work. It really makes me miss the days where it felt like I had so much time to do anything. Errm
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(May 23rd, 2021, 04:38 AM)Monocle Wrote:
my pure optimism is disgusting. I just think the best of everything and everyone unless they're absolutely stupid and retail has presented me with a lot of those.
I used to be like that back in secondary school, but it quickly got kicked out of me by the time I left there and university because of how many awful people I dealt with that took advantage of me.

(May 23rd, 2021, 09:12 PM)ShiraNoMai Wrote:
God, meal planning is hard when you gotta stick to your macros. My 30-30-40 ratio has been hard to prioritize cuz I'm not getting enough protein in most cases.

Macros are short for macronutrients, btw, which are your Carbohydrates, Fats and Proteins (respectively) needed to get your necessary nutrients for a day while targeting whatever goal you need (muscle gain, fat loss, weight loss, etc). My ratio of nutrients is tailored to fat loss, but like I said, I just can't seem to find enough protein to put in. I wind up getting too carb-heavy in most cases cuz like, everything has carbs, man. Even fucking broccoli. Errm

Woes aside, while a bit tedious, the challenge of it all is kinda fun. I hate the idea of diets where you gotta like, eat like a rabbit for weeks. I just wanna eat cleaner and feel better.
I hate dealing with preparing dinner without needing to worry about all that stuff. I think if that got added to my plate I'd need a life planner or anger management just to not be in a constant state of pissed off.

Speaking of being pissed off, that's been me most of this weekend. I feel like time has just flown by me and that I barely achieved a damn thing today or yesterday that wasn't some form of chore or work. It really makes me miss the days where it felt like I had so much time to do anything. Errm
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It's a lot of self-discipline, something that has come to me with time as a way of coping through situations I have (seemingly) no control over. If I can manage to get control of a situation somehow through some kind of mechanic in my life I can "abuse", I'll do it. I do my best to avoid situations where I can't get myself out of because at that point I just don't know what I'd do. One of those "avoid that point at all costs" scenarios I try not to dwell on Sweat
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It's a lot of self-discipline, something that has come to me with time as a way of coping through situations I have (seemingly) no control over. If I can manage to get control of a situation somehow through some kind of mechanic in my life I can "abuse", I'll do it. I do my best to avoid situations where I can't get myself out of because at that point I just don't know what I'd do. One of those "avoid that point at all costs" scenarios I try not to dwell on Sweat
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even with all the disappointments, I still have endless optimism. can't help it tbh. I'm built this way.

Yeah I don't have any of that discipline in me at all. I won't even lie about it. spend more than I should on gaming as it is. literally just bought 4 more games last night lmao
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even with all the disappointments, I still have endless optimism. can't help it tbh. I'm built this way.

Yeah I don't have any of that discipline in me at all. I won't even lie about it. spend more than I should on gaming as it is. literally just bought 4 more games last night lmao
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Well, what's the consequences of you "overspending" on games? It clearly can't be that detrimental otherwise you would never do it (unless you were clinically addicted). My self discipline comes from a fear of the consequence if I don't. If I can respond to a situation with "eh, it'll be fine", it doesn't require discipline to begin with LOL
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Well, what's the consequences of you "overspending" on games? It clearly can't be that detrimental otherwise you would never do it (unless you were clinically addicted). My self discipline comes from a fear of the consequence if I don't. If I can respond to a situation with "eh, it'll be fine", it doesn't require discipline to begin with LOL
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(May 25th, 2021, 05:23 AM)Monocle Wrote:
even with all the disappointments, I still have endless optimism. can't help it tbh. I'm built this way.

Yeah I don't have any of that discipline in me at all. I won't even lie about it. spend more than I should on gaming as it is. literally just bought 4 more games last night lmao

Bruh you don't spend enough time on gaming. You *still* haven't completed Dark Souls, and I gave you that copy three years ago. This is why I can't take you to nice places. I can't face the shame of telling people that my best friend hasn't beaten Dark Souls.
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(May 25th, 2021, 05:23 AM)Monocle Wrote:
even with all the disappointments, I still have endless optimism. can't help it tbh. I'm built this way.

Yeah I don't have any of that discipline in me at all. I won't even lie about it. spend more than I should on gaming as it is. literally just bought 4 more games last night lmao

Bruh you don't spend enough time on gaming. You *still* haven't completed Dark Souls, and I gave you that copy three years ago. This is why I can't take you to nice places. I can't face the shame of telling people that my best friend hasn't beaten Dark Souls.
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(May 26th, 2021, 04:28 AM)ShiraNoMai Wrote:
Well, what's the consequences of you "overspending" on games? It clearly can't be that detrimental otherwise you would never do it (unless you were clinically addicted). My self discipline comes from a fear of the consequence if I don't. If I can respond to a situation with "eh, it'll be fine", it doesn't require discipline to begin with LOL

Well yeah it'll be fine is okay because I make enough but scary wife is scary lmao. she actually walked right into the bathroom after looking at the bank account and asking what it all was and my response was just... games. rip me


(May 26th, 2021, 06:05 AM)Dragon Lord Wrote:
Bruh you don't spend enough time on gaming. You *still* haven't completed Dark Souls, and I gave you that copy three years ago. This is why I can't take you to nice places. I can't face the shame of telling people that my best friend hasn't beaten Dark Souls.

hold on. in my defense... yeah man that game is hard
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(May 26th, 2021, 04:28 AM)ShiraNoMai Wrote:
Well, what's the consequences of you "overspending" on games? It clearly can't be that detrimental otherwise you would never do it (unless you were clinically addicted). My self discipline comes from a fear of the consequence if I don't. If I can respond to a situation with "eh, it'll be fine", it doesn't require discipline to begin with LOL

Well yeah it'll be fine is okay because I make enough but scary wife is scary lmao. she actually walked right into the bathroom after looking at the bank account and asking what it all was and my response was just... games. rip me


(May 26th, 2021, 06:05 AM)Dragon Lord Wrote:
Bruh you don't spend enough time on gaming. You *still* haven't completed Dark Souls, and I gave you that copy three years ago. This is why I can't take you to nice places. I can't face the shame of telling people that my best friend hasn't beaten Dark Souls.

hold on. in my defense... yeah man that game is hard
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It's not even a hard game. You want hard? Play Nioh/Nioh 2. Dark Souls is baby mode compared to those games.

I just want you to not disappoint me one single time. That's all I ask.
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Dragon Lord Offline
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It's not even a hard game. You want hard? Play Nioh/Nioh 2. Dark Souls is baby mode compared to those games.

I just want you to not disappoint me one single time. That's all I ask.
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I mean, I still haven't beaten Dark Souls, but not because I think it's super hard (challenging, certainly, but that's purely from how stiff the game is). I just...haven't been interested enough to play it through. It's fun for a bit, and then it's just...okay.
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I mean, I still haven't beaten Dark Souls, but not because I think it's super hard (challenging, certainly, but that's purely from how stiff the game is). I just...haven't been interested enough to play it through. It's fun for a bit, and then it's just...okay.
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